There are times when my feelings lie to me. My doubts depress me. I want God to do whatever it takes to make me to fully trust in Him, but then afterwards I beg for mercy as I'm tired of suffering physically.
It is not my own weak faith that my salvation rests on as though it came from me. I remind myself that God won't let me go. Why do I doubt my salvation at times (although not all the time)? Isn't God trustworthy? I know He is. If only I would stop listening to my feelings. There are times when I love reading the Bible. Why do I have such a mixture of rebellion with a cold heart and also a strong desire to love and trust God more? I'm tired of my sinful heart. I don't want to be in the state of having lost my first love of Christ as in Revelation 2:5.
The thing is that I know that I have believed, but my doubts and rebellious thoughts and wavering feelings of love for God make me question how much I really believe. I remind myself what Spurgeon said about looking unto Christ and living. If only I could shake myself of listening to my wavering feelings. We are born from above by God's grace as Christians. I know it isn't dependent on me. It is good for people to examine themselves, but it is bad when I get to the point that I examine myself and look inward too much. I begin to doubt, and like Peter walking toward Jesus on the water I start to feel I am sinking and lost. I must step forward and obey God and stop trusting my feelings. Feelings come and go, but I must believe God is faithful in spite of my sinful weakness. Feelings will likely come again if I do what I have done when I did feel more love.
There have been times when I have felt so close to God and a lot of joy. He truly is faithful even when we're not. He will keep His sheep.
Truly my only hope is Christ.
It is not my own weak faith that my salvation rests on as though it came from me. I remind myself that God won't let me go. Why do I doubt my salvation at times (although not all the time)? Isn't God trustworthy? I know He is. If only I would stop listening to my feelings. There are times when I love reading the Bible. Why do I have such a mixture of rebellion with a cold heart and also a strong desire to love and trust God more? I'm tired of my sinful heart. I don't want to be in the state of having lost my first love of Christ as in Revelation 2:5.
The thing is that I know that I have believed, but my doubts and rebellious thoughts and wavering feelings of love for God make me question how much I really believe. I remind myself what Spurgeon said about looking unto Christ and living. If only I could shake myself of listening to my wavering feelings. We are born from above by God's grace as Christians. I know it isn't dependent on me. It is good for people to examine themselves, but it is bad when I get to the point that I examine myself and look inward too much. I begin to doubt, and like Peter walking toward Jesus on the water I start to feel I am sinking and lost. I must step forward and obey God and stop trusting my feelings. Feelings come and go, but I must believe God is faithful in spite of my sinful weakness. Feelings will likely come again if I do what I have done when I did feel more love.
There have been times when I have felt so close to God and a lot of joy. He truly is faithful even when we're not. He will keep His sheep.
Truly my only hope is Christ.
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