When Healing Eludes Us

One day I was feeling poorly as I do many days, but I did go out for a ride with family.
 I stayed in the car with my Dad, and we listened to a radio station.
 They played a song or two I was familiar with, but the lyrics of one I hadn't heard before really stood out to me.

 I often feel like I'm going to pass out. Sometimes I think I'm not going to make it I feel so rotten, and I realize this may be what the rest of my life will be like. Fibromyalgia was bad enough, but things have gone downhill. I use a wheelchair most of the time now. Really, I don't want to describe all of the symptoms.

So as I listened to the song on the radio, it stirred me as I could relate so well to the lyrics. I hate to feel awful, and sometimes the stress overwhelms me.
I want to love God more, and I want to be like Job in his initial response to tragedy.
Life can be a spiritual battle against fear and rebellion and doubt.
These are sins I hate, and I know Christ is my only hope.
Whatever it takes for me to grow more like Christ, it is worth it...though I may desire for it not to have to be through more suffering.
God has His purposes, and I just need to yield to His will. There is no guarantee that I will ever be rid of these symptoms.

 I know some relatives and online friends that are going through struggles as well ... even cancer. Though some of you have heard this song before, I hope that it will be a reminder and encouragement to trust God and who He is...even if the healing doesn't come.
One day in Heaven believers will have healing though.
May we glorify God even in our suffering.

 

 The sharing of this song is not meant as an endorsement of the group.

Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. 
Selah.
Psalm 62:8 NASB

My Continuing Saga for September

Recently I went to a specialist that had bad reviews online.
I was fearful of how he might behave, but I made it through okay...alive anyway.  I certainly was praying!  My highllights of the day were going to Chick-Fil-A to eat and giving 1 Million dollar tracts to a couple of highway patrol officers there.

Doctors are crazy people!  They want you to have tests to assimilate awful things. 
I had one test already where the goal seems to be to get a person to have a seizure. 
Three doctors want me to have a different test where they want to see if they can make me faint!  Thanks a lot docs. !
I felt like I was going to faint just getting my blood taken for some tests already. 
Yes, they used the smelly stuff under my nose, ice on my neck, a fan, etc.!  I've been feeling dizzy and sometimes faint for nearly two months now, so why not make sure of it?  Ugh!

The seizure test I had was an EEG.  This is to check out how my brain reacts to certain stimuli apparently.  A person rubs and irritates and marks up your head and sticks a bunch of electrodes or something to you. 
They flash lights before your closed eyes and make you hyperventilate to the point where you are feeling like passing out and pretty much begging to quit, but they won't let you.  Meanwhile I had a bad headache.  The result?   Non-specifically abnormal.  I guess that describes me pretty well. 
Thankfully I didn't have a seizure.

For the next test they want me to have, they will tilt me up on a table they strap me to I assume and do their best to make me faint to see what is causing my near syncope (near fainting). 
I've been trying not to faint, and this doesn't sound like my idea of an amusement ride.  I suppose they might get some sadistic amusement out of it.  
The good news is that my heart seems to be okay at this point, so it likely isn't the culprit.



Since I shared with you the progress of of our sunroom/laundry room, I thought I'd share a photo of the finished project. It only took them a month!