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Wednesday, November 29, 2017

It's Not Victim Shaming

The world is not a safe place, especially for girls and women.

There are situations women can put themselves into which are more dangerous.
Certain flirtatious behaviors & immodest clothing do encourage lust, although men also can target modest women who don't flirt.
It's a very complex issue involving sinful hearts (and looking at porn adds fuel to the fire as well as all of the other immodest women fanning the flames).

Still, women should not entice men, just as men should behave as gentlemen.
Saying that mentioning modesty is victim shaming as some people angrily accuse people of is not fully grasping that this isn't a broad brushing of victims at all.
There is sound wisdom in practicing modest dress and behavior.
There is such a thing as being dressed in harlot's clothing (Proverbs 7:10) which does send a message.
This doesn't excuse men who attack at all, but especially Christian women should be willing to be discreet if they make a claim to godliness.
What you wear and how you act speaks of your character, and how a man acts and treats women speaks of theirs.
If we don't want to be mistaken for women of loose morals, then why should any of us dress to entice men to lust?

Going to places where drinking & touching are quite common puts you more in danger of date rape or a stranger following you.
I remember a young college-aged woman many years ago who went to a country western dancing place and complained about a man who was trying to make advances.
Yes, social dancing is an encouragement to men who are looking for women to make advances to.
Ladies, you can't expect men to have pure minds, and even guys you think you know aren't immune to sinful desires.

Girls also need to be warned about being out alone or in isolated situations.
Women should also keep the doors to their homes locked (and their windows locked as well).
While a guy might do certain terrible behaviors in public, rape is often a stealth thing (done privately).
I realize there are some gang type behaviors.
Let others know where you are if you go out, and be careful about empty rooms when you are out socially.

Ladies, don't go into hotel rooms or men's apartments alone.
That is dangerous and very unwise.
Be sure to firmly say no to someone who pressures you to be intimate & make your limits known.  Stay sober.   A lot of rapes happen when people aren't.

Again, there are women who have people snatch them off the street or wherever or break into their homes.
We can't stop all evil, and this is not meant at as perfect safety standard.

One person commented online that someone broke into their home.
The percentage of that happening is less, but it does happen and is a very frightening reality.
Not every woman is going to be prepared with a gun.
The following was my response to a poor lady (without the name of the individual).

I'm sorry that someone broke into your home!  We can only do our best to lock up & protect ourselves, but I realize that evil people still exist and can do awful things. 🙁
A large percentage of rapes are not by strangers, but I'm very sorry that someone did something horrific to you.
Sometimes it may seem that evil men are triumphing, but there is a day of recompense for the wicked.  I'm not minimizing rape. God is a just God and angry at the wicked, and eternal punishment in Hell does exist.
The Gospel IS good news...not that a person won't ever suffer on earth, but that we can be forgiven of all sin and be made right with God and know His love and spend eternity where there will be joy forever and there will never be another rapist ever and all tears will be wiped from our eyes.
Turn to Him.

People need transformed hearts....both victims and perpetrators.
Both need the Gospel.

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