Surgery Side Two

This week I had another ulnar nerve moved (on my other arm).  This time it was a simpler surgery to release it..  I do not feel like the first surgery was as successful in helping anything except the nerve conduction test to come out better.  It made things feel worse for using that hand, so I wanted a different surgeon this time to do the other side.

Well, I have been majorly stressed out, and it is hard to see how I will get through, but at least the surgery seemed to have gone well.  I was awake at least part of the time, but they tented me to not have to view the surgery.  I did see a person holding what they were tenting me with.  I thought of asking the people how it was going, but I kept quiet.  It only hurt at the end with the nerve, and it felt like one side of my brain felt a corresponding  nerve pain / freeze for a bit.

I have been having meltdowns, and the pain has gradually increased from very little to the level of what I think a scrape up from a bike fall was like as a kid.  Ouch!  The side effects of the prescription were too bothersome, so I'm using over the counter medicine now.

I've been typing this all one handed, so I will keep it brief.
I'd appreciate prayer not only for me, but others in my family are facing surgery and pain issues as well.  I feel like I'm having a breakdown, and God is the only One who can get me through.

I'm thankful for family and others who have encouraged me.

When Healing Eludes Us

One day I was feeling poorly as I do many days, but I did go out for a ride with family.
 I stayed in the car with my Dad, and we listened to a radio station.
 They played a song or two I was familiar with, but the lyrics of one I hadn't heard before really stood out to me.

 I often feel like I'm going to pass out. Sometimes I think I'm not going to make it I feel so rotten, and I realize this may be what the rest of my life will be like. Fibromyalgia was bad enough, but things have gone downhill. I use a wheelchair most of the time now. Really, I don't want to describe all of the symptoms.

So as I listened to the song on the radio, it stirred me as I could relate so well to the lyrics. I hate to feel awful, and sometimes the stress overwhelms me.
I want to love God more, and I want to be like Job in his initial response to tragedy.
Life can be a spiritual battle against fear and rebellion and doubt.
These are sins I hate, and I know Christ is my only hope.
Whatever it takes for me to grow more like Christ, it is worth it...though I may desire for it not to have to be through more suffering.
God has His purposes, and I just need to yield to His will. There is no guarantee that I will ever be rid of these symptoms.

 I know some relatives and online friends that are going through struggles as well ... even cancer. Though some of you have heard this song before, I hope that it will be a reminder and encouragement to trust God and who He is...even if the healing doesn't come.
One day in Heaven believers will have healing though.
May we glorify God even in our suffering.

 

 The sharing of this song is not meant as an endorsement of the group.

Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. 
Selah.
Psalm 62:8 NASB

Tomorrow Will Care For Itself

I had my ulnar nerve transposition surgery on October 31, and I am typing one-handed right now.  My arm is in a splint and I struggle with claustrophobia and pain.  This surgery involves two long cuts in the arm, so that the nerve can be moved.  My other arm's ulnar nerve has a problem too.

I am thankful God helped me not be as stressed the morning of the surgery as I thought I might be.  After the surgery I had nausea and pain.  I did actually throw up once at home.  The pain pills were great for a day or two, but then I itched and my face turned redder than it already is.  I went into the ER on a Sunday to get something new for the pain.  They required giving them the old pills, so my sister offered to bring them.  Well, she ended up tripping on a bedspread and banging her head on a treadmill with her knee getting a little hurt and her foot in a trash bin.  It was not a very good day, but she did get to the ER with the medicine ... and they gave her ice for her head.

The new medicine didn't get used long, as I had two panic attacks in the early morning hours that I figured may have been brought on by the medicine (although I've had panic before in my life).  Family came to my room, and I prayed for God to help me.  Music was used to help calm me. Panic often drives me to focus on my desperate need to trust God more  One song I tried to sing I will share below along with one other I remember from years ago.  The singer (Fernando Ortega) led music at a church service We attended on Saturday nights many years ago in California.  I am taking over the counter pain pills and using ice packs for pain.  Just imagine the pain you feel after having an adult tooth pulled and add having a way too tight wrap with a little swelling along with a heavy weight and a few nerve throbs for good measure.  Yes, and a mummified arm that is bent at an angle that you can't straighten.  And....that's my dominant arm.

Thank you to the Christians who have prayed for me.  I hope for more arm freedom to move this Tuesday, even though physical therapy and recovery will be long and uncertain.  I hate to think about the other arm....
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.   Matthew 6:34 NASB

 

This is one of the songs that helped distract me from panic. 



Here is another encouraging and soothing song that has a good reminder for believers.